Monday, July 1, 2013

Week 1

Its amazing how fast your feelings can change towards something or a situation. In this case, I was so happy to be in Ecuador and the happiness lasted about two days and then last night it was just horrible. I tried to think about other things, positive things and to be grateful for all the things and people I do have but it just wasn't working. Last night I was thinking about all of the people that I had left and my dog, thinking about Josh leaving on his mission and not being able to be there when he left, thinking about all the things that I really had no control over. Church yesterday was amazing but the rest of the day was down time which meant mentally a lot of time to myself. So with this time on my hands and these things I just couldn't get out, not feeling I could talk to anyone I resorted to writing poetry. Before I did it I said my prayers and as if by some unseen force the words flowed out of me fingers, down the pencil and onto the page, and before I realized.. I had a poem. And an answer to my hearts questions. Though some just pinpointed the problem, others pinpointed and answered themselves it was quite amazing. Last night was a hard night for me and tonight has been a little rough too but if Heavenly Father is a god of comfort (which he is) I know I'll be just fine even if its not for a few days I know eventually I will be. I've had such a bad habit of looking at the bad and it didn't just drop when I came to Ecuador. But as we see in every case, looking at the bad brings sadness and looking at the good brings happiness and when we know that we start getting a little bit better. I hope I will be able to start looking at the positive more and being more Christ like.. this has definitely been out of my comfort zone but I know I will grow to find sources of comfort within the growth zone even if it does not at the moment seem possible. "The word impossible itself says 'I'm Possible'" - Audrey Hepburn

4 comments:

  1. Dearest Sarah, Ups and downs are normal and to be expected. Throughout the next three years you will have some hard days, and that's okay. I have no doubt your life will be blessed and you will grow to be quite good at looking at the positive and you will become even more Christ like than you already are! I love you babe! I thought I would write you a little to give you a happy thought... We brought Simba over to our house yesterday and he has been having lots of fun! The kids were all out with him and Nala earlier tonight. They played ball with him. They ran around with him. And they all had so much fun brushing him. He and Nala are both shedding lots so they were having fun brushing out all of their hair! We are taking good care of your puppy!
    We sure do love you!!

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  2. Monica I love you. You are one of the best people I have evr met. Thank-you so much for that I really needed that and I dearly hope it will get easier.. I'm so glad Simba is having fun I miss him very much:) I miss all of you and can't wait till Christmas, you will all love it here!! There are lizards everywhere and the milk is whole percent and heavenly.. I feel like I've been under some sort of rock haha I know the boys will love the bugs and such. There is so much to tell you all.. please call!! Love you!!

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  3. Hi Sarah! Your post opened up a lot of emotion for me as I remember when my husband was called to serve as the bishop of our ward. Okay, so it's not like leaving the U.S. and living in a different country with Spanish as a first language :), but for the first little while I was seemingly okay. And then one day it hit. And I was NOT okay!! And I realized that his calling was hard for me, too! I learned that Heavenly Father knew me and knew my feelings and He blessed me in so many ways. I can look back now and see the wonderful changes that took place in me. But at the time it hard to see it. Thank you for sharing and for the photos! My boys are in AWE of your new house! :)

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  4. Thank-you for sharing that with me:) I know and have come to realize more that its hard to see the big picture while it's still in motion but i know i will someday come to look upon these years with happiness and gratefulness:) and yes i love the house also its very fun:)

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