Sunday, September 15, 2013

September 15, 2013

Hello everybody!! Sorry I haven't written in a while I've been very busy and the internet in our neighborhood goes on and off whenever it likes haha it stinks. Things here have been great! I love Ecuador! It is so beautiful and I have already made very good friends and met very nice people. Lately we have been going to different stake conferences and my parents have been speaking in those. The spirit is so strong and everybody is just so kind. I love meeting all the different people and the missionaries's investigators. A couple weeks ago we visited this stake in Garcia Moreno and this older lady came up to me and was holding my hands and asking me my name and how old i was, and then she asked me when my birthday was and i told her then she said she wanted to cook for me:) haha it was awesome. I have the very great privilege of meeting many sweet people. So while things have been great, as always i have my inside problems.. i've been getting a little better with being patient but not a whole lot. My biggest problem lately is i get really disappointed when things don't go how i want or expect them to, I get really irritated and it kind of sets me off. So lately when this happens I get really sad and negative and that is not good. Obviously. I was thinking about this and I came to the conclusion that either, one, I am not believing and having enough faith, or, two, Heavenly Father has something else in mind for me that is even better. I think you can see as well as I can that both things require patience. Joy. I get so worked up about things that when it doesn't happen or turns out a different way I tear myself up about it and even if it's not my fault I find something in myself to blame. I don't think that's what heavenly father is intending for me, or for anyone. I have been having lots of good experiences but then I see the bad and forget the good. I don't exactly know what to call that but.. it's something that has been eating at me for a while. There was this quote that I read that was in a school packet we got, I would like to share it, " The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” -Vincent Van Gogh 
So what Mr. Van Gogh was hinting at was that we cannot live in constant fear of the future if we want so badly for our lives to be good, if we constantly expect the bad that is what we are going to get. The other day my mom said to me "Sarah, your brain is powerful, if you keep thinking something bad is going to happen, it probably will. The thing is, that thing hasn't even happened yet, but you're living your life as though it had, why not live your life as though something good had happened, it's pretty much the same thing... and then it probably will happen." Or something like that, that's just how I remembered it but If the fisherman never went out to sea they would never bring back fish. While in my case some bad things have already happened I can stop worrying and start being positive instead of negative, because someday, all those negative and positive thoughts are going to add up for me weather or not I like the outcome. Better to not live in fear of the storm when it isn't even upon us yet, and better to think positive when it comes. Yes this is another goal of mine:)
 "And now oh my son Heleman, behold thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for i do know that whosoever shall put their trust in god shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." - Alma 36:3


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