I went to talk to my mom about this and I told her all the thoughts that Satan was putting into my head and that I felt horrified and strange and guilty. What she told me next I already knew but I just had somehow forgotten it.. she said "Satan can make the thoughts HE puts into our heads SOUND and FEEL like OUR OWN!" Just then I had a surge of disgust fly through me and a realization, Satan can put thoughts in my head but only I can decide weather or not they stay and if I think about them and believe them. See, Satan is very smart.. sadly... he knows how powerful thoughts are, as do many scientists and religious leaders. He knows that if he can get into our heads and tamper with our thoughts, basically hijacking the control center of our bodies, he can get us to do just about anything he wants us to. It's true. Mahatma Gandhi said "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."(See how many things thoughts can effect? Crazy huh?) So you see, your destiny can be affected just by the little thoughts that pop in your head, those thoughts that creep into your brain when your peacefully quietly in your bed about to fall asleep, or the ones that nag at your attention, begging to be heard when your doing your homework, even the ones that pop into your head when your around others, Satan doesn't care where you are, what you are doing, or who you are with, if he wants to get you he's gonna start when and where he wants with whatever he wants. At first when I had these thoughts come into my head I felt horrible for thinking them and bad and felt very bad about myself, and I was thinking that it was my own thought and that I needed to repent and ask for forgiveness. I told this to my mom and she said "We can't control what Satan puts in our head but we can control if we let it stay or not.." She then reminded me of a quote from a talk by Brad Wilcox, " You can't control if a bird lands on your head but you can control if he builds a nest there."
I was kind of confused at first when I was thinking about this and some of you might be too because I was thinking, "How is it that if I HAVE been keeping the commandments and I HAVE been repenting and doing what I should, why then am I being attacked by Satan? Is GOD punishing me? What have I done?" There are two parts to this answer, first a quote from Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve, he said, " No one wants adversity. Trials, disappointments , sadness, and heartache come to us from two basically different sources. Those who transgress (do not obey) the laws of God will always have challenges. The other reason for adversity is to accomplish the Lord's own purpose in our life that we may receive the refinement that comes from testing. It is vitally important for each of us to identify from which of these to sources come our trials and challenges, for the corrective action is very different." so that is the first part of my answer maybe it's because we are not keeping the Lord's commandments and we are simply reaping the consequences of what we sew, everything in life has consequences but on the other hand if we are keeping the commandments he's probably just testing us which will make us stronger if we bear it well in the end anyway, or in my case (Or in any case with thoughts) if I (you) will give way to the thoughts that Satan places in my (your) head. The second part of my answer is this, if Satan had to choose which children of God to target the strongest which group do you think he would target? The group that is already on the path that he wants them on? The ones that are already glued to addictions and hardships, the ones who already feel in the dark and the ones he's gotten to already or the ones he hasn't? The ones who are doing good who could help get the others back out of the dark? I think he would go for those ones because those ones can do him more damage and cost him more souls. Satan wants to try to get everybody that he can to be miserable like himself, so naturally he's going to try to get those who are trying to help bring the ones he's already got back. To be more clear, if an army is trying to capture an enemy, do you think they are going to try to go get the one who acts as the lesser threat first? No! You would go get the one who causes the most threat first! It's just common sense! If there are any of you out there wondering "Why, why do bad things happen to good people? Why are these dark thoughts coming into my head even though I'm doing everything right?" consider this. Consider what I have said. Many people are out there blaming God when who they really should be blaming is Satan, if God let's anything happen in our lives it is so we will grow, maybe it doesn't make sense or doesn't seem clear but with time it will be clearer. God only put's good things in our lives, only good thoughts in our minds and good feelings in our souls, anything contrary to the goodness and light of God comes from the enemy, Satan. I don't think anything would hurt or put a damper on Satan's spirits more than for us to grow from our experiences and decide to use what he has thrown at us at a learning and growing experience which is what I am trying so very hard to do right now.
Now back to the thoughts, what we believe we begin to put to play in our lives, we begin to act on it, ponder it, process it and it slowly starts to take a part in us, in our emotions, in our opinions, in everything. That is why thoughts are so vital and important, it is so important that we not believe the lies Satan tell's us, it is so important that we not act on the lies he tells us, and it is so important that we not keep thinking about the lies and thoughts he puts in our heads. THAT is why I wanted to write this as my topic in this blog post because stupid Satan (well.. I guess he's smart but he's still stupid!) has tricked so many people into thinking that the thoughts they are thinking are their own or that just because a thought pops into their head means they are a bad person, NO, NO, NO! That kind of crap has Satan written all over it! Don't believe his lies, don't fall for the "they're your own thoughts" trick, yes it's possible and he's been using this trick for many, many years. It feels so unfair but I guess there has to be opposition in all things, but not to worry, if we bear things well we will grow, learn and become better for it.